this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
