I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
