I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
