You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
