just come out here and I will go home with you...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
