just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
