Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
