so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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