I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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