Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
