She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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