Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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