once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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