On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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