Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
