I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
