I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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