This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
