I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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