i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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