i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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