A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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