Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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