Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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