One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
