ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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