THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
