I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
