how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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