I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
