True but thats because hes a fetus.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
