I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
