he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
