We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize