In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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