So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
