Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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