when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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