Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
