the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
