so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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