Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
