Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
