he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
