drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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