I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
