You made me cry and you don't even care
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
