I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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