I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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