I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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