1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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