can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
