i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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