That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I forgot how hot balto sounded
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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