Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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