That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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