This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You smell like stripper and shame
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
