I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
