I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
