Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
