I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
