paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
