no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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