He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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